We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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