i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
