We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this boner is exhausting
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
