His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
