Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
