Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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