i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
