His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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