mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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