College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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