You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize