Rock
Scissors
Fuck
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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