i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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