It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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