Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize