He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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