Swine flu. Run for my life!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
