Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
