just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
