ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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