I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
