think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
