are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
