the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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