my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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