you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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