I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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