I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
