Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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