she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
