Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So many bounce houses so little time
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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