All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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