I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
