remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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