Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
