i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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