Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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