i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
