Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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