How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There are leaves in my underwear?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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