I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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