so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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