go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
