i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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