I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize