U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
