So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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