If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
