The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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