Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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