Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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