Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
