I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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