i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's blow job season.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
