lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
