Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's the barista slut.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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