Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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