I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
