You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No subtext here. People are naked.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
