I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
