Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i came on her dog
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
