I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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