i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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