She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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