this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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