i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
