My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize